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Magic, Mensa, and Mayhem

2012-08-25T23:44:38Z

KarinaFabian:

== Summary ==

It should have been a cushy job: Vern, the dragon detective, and his partner, the mage Sister Grace, are given an all-expense paid trip to Florida to chaperone a group of Magicals at a Mensa convention. Then the pixies start pranking, the Valkyrie starts vamping and a dwarf goes to Billy Beaver's Fantasyland hoping to be "discovered." Environmentalists protest Vern's "disrupting the ecosystem," while clueless tourists think he's animatronic. When the elves get high on artificial flavorings and declare war on Florida, it turns into the toughest case they aren’t getting paid for.

== Publishing Information ==

Paperback and Electronic: 232 pages

Publisher: Swimming Kangaroo Books (March 4, 2009)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1934041785

ISBN-13: 978-1934041789

ASIN: B004I5BVWE

== Awards ==

2007 Mensa Owl (for serial story that led to the book)
2010 INDIE Awards, Best Fantasy
2010 P&E Top Ten Fantasy

== Excerpt ==

“Here we are,” Grace said as we stopped in front of the conference room door. She looked at the note in her hand. “’A panel discussion on the magic in music moderated by Mensan Shirley Starke of Valkyrie Publications.’”

“Who else is on the panel?” I asked. I switched her harp to my hand closest to the wall so it was out of the way of passers-by.

“Grace McCarthy!”

The voice was pure music, yet came off like a deodorant jingle.

Grace’s face froze. Then she forced a tight smile.

“Euterpe, dear.”

The Greek Muse Euterpe looked every bit as you’d expect her to. Her long silvery blonde hair didn’t have a strand out of place and when she flipped it--as she often did--it made a subtle sound like harp strings played at just the below the level of human hearing. Her eyes were large and gray, her skin flawless, and her figure of--pardon the pun--Classic proportions. Her smile was as tight as Grace’s. Both ladies wore Green dots on their buttons, yet neither moved.

Good thing. Judging from the tension between them, any embrace was going to be a wrestling move.

Euterpe did her flip-thing--C resolving to A minor. “Why, look at you! Here! Still a nun! I suppose that should be expected. Always the serious type, preferring an ethereal God to a real man. Just as well, I’m sure. But why, oh, why did you choose an order with such dreadful colors? And they’ve made you hide your hair. I suppose that’s for the best, but why?”

“My beauty is in the Grace of God. But you, Terpie! Looking same as always.” Grace’s false sincerity was like nails on a chalkboard and she clutched her cross tightly. For a moment I imagined them as dragons, circling and hissing with wings half-unfurled. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or intervene. I decided to compromise by clearing my throat. Yeah, I know. How Mundane.

Terpie’s eyes flew to me and her face assumed a pout usually reserved for looking at guinea pigs. “Oh, look! It’s carrying your harp!”

Now it was Grace’s turn to intervene. “And you brought your lyre. Still stringing it with your own hair, too.” Then she added to me, “It helps her get a good tone.”

The Greek Spirit of Music’s face tightened a notch, and Grace pressed her advantage. “I haven’t heard any new compositions from Brandon lately.”

Again, Treppe’s grin seemed just a bit more strained, but all she did was run her fingers through her hair--four octaves of C. “Yes, well. It will be such an interesting panel--for them, of course. And yourself. Coming?”

“I’ll catch up.”

“You always did. Toodles!” She waved her fingers in the air like a sorority wanna-be and sauntered into the conference room.

Toodles. Somebody studied the Faerie Book of Mundane Slang. I turned to Grace, who was muttering a prayer for strength. I waited until she was done, then handed her her harp. “Sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“What? No. We could both do with knowing more about Mundane forensics.” She smiled a genuine smile, though there was still a little strain in it. “I’ll be fine. Terpie and I were in college together and we…have a history.”

“College? What’d she study?”

“I never said she was a student.” She sighed and muttered, “I told him she was bad for him in the long run. He had talent. He didn’t need a Muse.” Lost in her thoughts, she went into the room without saying good-bye.

Grace was right about the Forensics lecture. There was a lot of good information, enough for me to drive Captain Santry mad with suggestions when we got back, which was worth the trip alone. Nonetheless, I decided to corner Bryant at another time and left during the Q & A to be at Grace’s room before her panel was done.

I got there just as people were filing out. The Faerie were talking and chuckling, but the Mundanes were silent. Stunned, even. So stunned, they simply filed past my six-foot, quarter-ton scarlet-and-black bulk without even a glance. I finally heard one guy say in a hush, “That was…” and his friend, “Yeah.”

After the last person emerged, zombie-like, from the room, Grace came out. Her habit was rumpled and her wimple askew. Some of her red hair was singed. Wisps of smoke escaped from her harp case.

She was smiling with satisfaction.

She straightened out her habit and tucked in her hair. “How was the Forensics lecture?” she asked as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

The doors opened, and Euterpe came out, her saunter gone, clutching a section of her torn peplos with one hand and holding a harp with two snapped strings in the other. Her hair looked like she’s been to a hairdresser on drugs. Her eyes looked black and smudged--I hadn’t realized she wore make-up. Her expression was somewhere between shocked and seething, but as soon as she saw Grace, she straightened and shook herself haughtily. Her hair, appropriately, played B-Flat and became perfect, as did her makeup. Her dress repaired itself. Again the two smiled their insincere smiles.

“It was so good to see you,” Grace volunteered first.

“Oh, we simply must do this again sometime,” Terpie oozed. “But let’s not wait another 10 years. I’d just cry to see you with more wrinkles.”

Grace held out her hands. Terpie took them, and they did a half-hug/air kisses.

“Please tell Poly I pray for her.”

“I’m sure that’ll mean as much to her as it does to me. Toodles!”

I peeked into the conference room. Sitting at a harp was, I assumed, Ms. Starke, her expression as dazed as those of her fellow Mundanes. She kept staring around her as if expecting to see something other than the usual disarray of a used conference room, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Unless you could sense magic. The arcane aftermath was enough to make my scales stand up and my lips curl back.

“Harp music,” I heard Ms. Starke mutter. “I just wanted to talk about Faerie harp music.”

I turned to my partner, my question obvious in my expression.

“I think Terpie had an interesting time,” she said gaily.

== For More Information ==

...including excerpts, videos, etc. http://dragoneyepi.blogspot.com/p/magic-mensa-and-mayhem.html
[http://dragoneyepi.blogspot.com/p/magic-mensa-and-mayhem.html]

Neeta Lyffe Zombie Exterminator

2012-08-18T22:42:06Z

KarinaFabian:

==Summary==

By the 2040s, the shambling dead have become an international problem. While governments and special interest groups vie for the most environmentally-friendly way to rid the world of zombies, a new breed of exterminator has risen: The Zombie Exterminator.

When zombie exterminator Neeta Lyffe gets sued because a zombie she set afire stumbles onto a lawyer's back porch, she needs money fast. So she agrees to train apprentice exterminators in a reality TV show that makes Survivor look like a child's tag game. But that's nothing compared to having to deal with crazy directors, bickering contestants and paparazzi. Can she keep her ratings up, her bills paid and her apprentices alive and still keep her sanity?

==Publishing Information==

Paperback and Electronic: 248 pages

Publisher: Damnation Books LLC (November 30, 2010)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1615722734

ISBN-13: 978-1615722730

ASIN: B004EHZSOI

==Awards==

2011 Global eBook Awards for Best Horror
2012 finalist eFestival of Words for Best YA

==Excerpt==

The workout room had a weights set and an elliptical in one corner, but Neeta ignored them. She needed more vigorous exercise than that if she wanted to burn off her emotional funk.

None of the plebes had done the routine she'd just set for herself. It didn't really reflect the reality of zombie movements, either. Although the crew had designed the targets to look much like actual undead, they moved too quickly, changed direction too suddenly, lunged and retreated in ways zombies couldn't imitate. They zigged and zaggged, dropped from the ceiling to zoom back up, flung themselves from the ground to trip the unwary. For once, this wasn't about training.

Neeta steeled herself, found an opening and dove in with a roar. She swung high, tagging the first zombie with the edge of her blade just as it got within her reach.

This was about reflexes,

She jumped over the arm that sprung up in front of her, doing the splits as she brought down her chainsaw to slice the hand off at the wrist.

…about burning aggression,

She spun a full circle, moving the saw in a sine wave. She took one target out at the knees, sliced another sideways across the chest, beheaded a third.

…about moving beyond thought and planning and negotiations with writers and directors and people who cared more for ratings than lives,

She lunged, spun, kicked and swung, her battle cries a perfect accompaniment to the pounding music.

A buzzer sounded, and the lights brightened and steadied. The targets stopped their frenetic motions and presented themselves for her to examine. She dropped the saw where she stood and braced her hands against her knees to catch her breath. Her arms felt like lead. A good feeling. She moved among the grimacing targets, noting the strikes that would have severed limbs, the ones that would have beheaded... When she came to the long-haired one with the pot belly, she gave a feral grin.

She's landed the blade in perfect position to slice Dave's manic smile right off his face.

==For More Information==

http://zombiedeathextreme.com/book.php [http://zombiedeathextreme.com/book.php]

Neeta Lyffe Zombie Exterminator

2012-08-18T22:37:55Z

KarinaFabian: Created page with "==Summary== By the 2040s, the shambling dead have become an international problem. While governments and special interest groups vie for the most environmentally-friendly way to..."

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator

2012-08-18T22:33:19Z

KarinaFabian: /* Novels */

==Universe==

* [[World Overview]]
* [[Shambling Undead]]

==Characters==

(under Construction)

==Novels==

* [[Neeta Lyffe Zombie Exterminator]]
* [[I Left My Brains in San Francisco]]

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator

2012-08-18T22:32:47Z

KarinaFabian: /* Novels */

==Universe==

* [[World Overview]]
* [[Shambling Undead]]

==Characters==

(under Construction)

==Novels==

* [[Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator]]
* [[I Left My Brains in San Francisco]]

Live and Let Fly

2012-08-18T22:31:04Z

KarinaFabian:

== Summary ==

'''The magic is Faerie. The technology, Mundane. When they meet, the survival of the world rests in one dragon's…er…claws. See Vern as you've never seen him before! '''

For a dragon detective with a magic-slinging nun as a partner, saving the worlds gets routine. So, when the US government hires Vern and Sister Grace to recover stolen secrets for creating a new Interdimensional Gap-- secrets the US would like to keep, thank you—Vern sees a chance to play Dragon-Oh-Seven.
No human spy, however, ever went up against a Norse goddess determined to use those secrets to rescue her husband. Sigyn will move heaven and earth to get Loki—and use the best and worst of our world against anyone who tries to stop her.

It's super-spy spoofing at its best with exotic locations (Idaho--exotic?), maniacal middle-managers, secret agent men, teen rock stars in trouble, man-eating animatronics, evil overlords and more!

== Publishing Information ==

Electronic Only (as of Aug 2012): 265 pages

Publisher: MuseItUp Publishing (April 26, 2012)

Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.

Language: English

ASIN: B007Y5TCHG

== Excerpt ==

Charlie started to close the door behind us, his other hand gripping the handle of his dagger so tightly I could hear the leather wrap on the handle strain, as we listened to the footsteps coming our way, slow, bored. My predator's instincts rose; then I had a great idea. I shook my head at Charlie and winked, and he shuffled out of my way, leaving the door ajar. I settled myself with my back to the door, just inside the shadows and let the script play itself out:

''
CLUELESS MINION enters Stage Left. He pauses, hearing a noise, but does not report it. Instead, he fondles the stars on his name tag and moves toward the empty hallway, his mind on adding another. (Probably saying, "I was proactive today!")

CLUELESS pauses at door, hesitating. He stands and, back to the door, reaches for his walkie-talkie.
Suddenly, a well-muscled and gorgeously scaled tail whips out from the crack in the door and wraps itself around his neck. He only has time to grab ineffectively at the tail before he's drawn into the darkness. The door shuts behind him.

Pan shot of the empty hallway.

FADE TO BLACK''

I slammed my victim on the floor and pinned him with my forelegs, then I leaned my face in nice and slow, making sure he got a good look at my fangs before he saw my eyes. "Where's the girl?" I growled low and menacingly.

"Wh-What g-g-girl?"

Charlie crouched down by Stutterboy and glanced at his name tag. "Look, Philip, we're in a bit of a hurry. We know Rhoda Dakota's being held captive somewhere nearby. Now you can be a good survivor and tell us where…or you can be dinner."

"I-I don't—"

"Phil A. Minion." I mused and drooled a bit for effect. I live for these moments, I really do. I licked his cheek and asked Charlie, "Can I have fries with that?"

"Why not? This is Idaho."

==For More Information==

..including videos, etc. http://dragoneyepi.blogspot.com/p/live-and-let-fly.html [http://dragoneyepi.blogspot.com/p/live-and-let-fly.html]

Magic, Mensa, and Mayhem

2012-08-18T22:28:32Z

KarinaFabian: /* For More Information */

Magic, Mensa, and Mayhem

2012-08-18T22:28:08Z

KarinaFabian:

Shambling Undead

2012-08-18T22:25:04Z

KarinaFabian: Created page with " == Zombies—Condition and Characteristics == Zombies are ambulatory corpses, drawn to living flesh, particularly brains, although sufficiently fresh hamburger will work in Ame..."

== Zombies—Condition and Characteristics ==

Zombies are ambulatory corpses, drawn to living flesh, particularly brains, although sufficiently fresh hamburger will work in America. They have limited brain functions, which allows them to walk, chase prey, and on occasion groan simple vocabulary. They lack higher brain functions, however; a good test for telling if someone is a zombie and not just drunk, for example, is to ask them a math question.

No one knows what causes zombie-ism, although it is blood-and-saliva contagious and always fatal. The only way to re-kill a zombie is to destroy its brain or to sever the brain from the spine. It is not known in the case of spine-severing if the brain continues to function, but as long as the mouth isn’t working and they cannot chase the living, it’s counted as a win.

Zombies often retain certain habits kept in life. Suicides return to the place of their death; devoted family members head home. Alcoholics gravitate toward bars, while workaholics might sneak back into the office or factory and resume their job. (This caused some trouble at first, as some employers came under fire from the Zombies Are People, Too! movement for exterminating the corpse, while others sought to take advantage of an employee they neither needed to pay nor provide health care for, but who messed up paperwork and left bits of himself lying around the workplace.)

Zombies also have culturally bred preferences and aversions. In America, television distracts most zombies, and will fight each other over political handbills. Jewish and Muslim zombies have an aversion to pork. Inexplicably, nearly all zombies are drawn to strong smells like pickles or kimschee and mattresses, but are repelled by cleaning products containing ammonia or chlorine.

Zombies have been known to congregate in areas and even take up residence. Colloquially known as “roach motels,” they are sometimes preserved and patrolled by city officials as a stopgap measure for containing zombies. However, after the Burbank Massacre of 2042,

----

== The Zombie Syndrome—History and Laws ==

No one knows quite when the Zombie Syndrome began; the first officially recognized sighting was Halloween night, 2019, when a zombie attacked and zombiefied a young couple necking on an abandoned road near Pleasnatville, KY. However, once confronted with indisputable evidence—aka, a policeman being bit, dying, and coming back to unlife in front of witnesses—the nation reacted with typical efficiency: panic, sensationalist and inflammatory articles, conspiracy theories spread through social media, a strict hand-washing campaign, and of course, a crass dismissal by people who were too busy with their lives to be bothered by an undead problem. The military added undead combat to its basic training, the CDC slapped itself on the back for being proactive in its contingency plans, and pharmaceutical companies clamored to get a sample of undead tissue and did cost-benefit analyses while herbalists made a killing on anti-zombie teas and tinctures.

Even as some cowered in fear and fought to get shotguns exempted from gun control laws, others saw the brain-eating corpses as the new persecuted minority deserving rights. It was helped by the fact that zombies can be passive as long as they are allowed to continue certain routines that they held in life. The greatest case study for the Zombies Are People, Too! movement, for example, was that of Jebediah Gump, who returned to his trailer in Podunka, AR, to drink beer and watch Jerry Springer reruns. Jokes about registering the undead to vote aside, the Zombies Are People, Too! movement created a great deal of confusion and led to many dying and becoming zombies. The movement finally died when Josie Gump, tired of doing nothing but feeding her undead husband beer, turned off the television to demand some “attention.” Programmed habit broken, Jebediah attempted to eat her brains, proving that not only had death not made him a more considerate husband after all, but that even the most passive zombie will revert to a mindless murderous state. (Josie Gump escaped with the help of her poodle and became a re-grief counselor and spokeswoman of the Zombies are NOT People movement.)

Numerous laws were enacted in order to stem the tide of zombie-ism. Most notable was the Spine Severing Act, which requires that all corpses have their spine severed from the brain. Zombies were given a special designation—ambulatory undead—and officially declared as no longer human and thus devoid of all rights, including the right to life. Military, law enforcement officials, and specialists were given license to re-kill.

----

== The Zombie Exterminator ==

Zombies are nasty, dirty, inconvenient, and unwelcome—in other words, pests. So it’s not surprising that exterminators would become instrumental in keeping the zombie population under control.

Some of the first zombie exterminators were simply trying to defend themselves while on the job. In the classic case of Carol Lyffe of Lyffe-Undeath Exterminations, she and her partner, Jerry Lee, were handling a rat problem at the Sunnyside cemetery when, for reasons unknown, a pack of undead rose from their graves. Using tools found in the groundskeeper’s shack, they successfully destroyed over twenty corpses. After that experience, Lyffe and Lee became strong advocates for zombie extermination, calling for stricter laws and for the qualification of specialized exterminators.

Zombie extermination is usually a specialization of general extermination, especially in America, where the zombie syndrome has been contained. Exterminators are required to take a qualifying test as well as a practical exam to include chainsaws, flame throwers, squirtgun accuracy, and short-and long-distance timed running. In addition major cities have a specialized team on their police force, known as Z-Mat, which not only handles undead extermination but also enforcement of zombie-related laws and cleanup and containment of zombie-related incidents.

World Overview

2012-08-18T22:23:50Z

KarinaFabian: Created page with " == The World of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator == Welcome to the 2040s, where everyone gets an Adult Starter Allowance until they’re 25, the government builds cars, environ..."

== The World of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator ==

Welcome to the 2040s, where everyone gets an Adult Starter Allowance until they’re 25, the government builds cars, environmental and political trends change like fashion—and zombies have become the latest in dangerous household pests.
At first glance, you won’t see much difference between this future and our present. No hovercars. No dystopia. People still love amusement parks, drink beer, go to church on Sundays…or not, according to their personal preferences. Groups rally to protest, fans get on forums to discuss their favorite TV shows—but check out the details:

That honking big car that just cut you off? Government Motors Entitlement

That protest at Berkeley? Stop Global Fattening! Yes, studies have shown that overpopulation has given the earth a weight problem.

That exterminator that just turned the corner? Full Hazmat suit, motorcycle helmet, and chainsaw. Apparently, there’s a zombie in the area. Let’s just move on, shall we?

Home again, and in the ‘fridge is a Bottum’s-Up Serenity, the perfect drink to counteract the adrenalin-pumping reality TV show, Zombie Death Extreme. And if that doesn’t do the trick, there’s a packet of Can-Ah-Be Calm, an over-the-counter tranquilizer made of medicinal marijuana.

What? They pre-empted ZDE so Woodland Fields could announce that he’s thinking of running for President? He’ll never make it—his record’s too clean, if you ask me. Ah, well, there’s always the Internet—and maybe they’ll get back to the show for the challenge anyway. After all, what’s more entertaining than watching amateurs take on zombies? Wonder if someone will get killed this time? My money is on Gordon!

So you see, just another day in America.

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator

2012-08-18T22:23:05Z

KarinaFabian: Created page with "==Universe== * World Overview * Shambling Undead ==Characters== (under Construction) ==Novels=="

==Universe==

* [[World Overview]]
* [[Shambling Undead]]

==Characters==

(under Construction)

==Novels==

Karina Fabian

2012-08-18T22:19:31Z

KarinaFabian: /* Universes of Karina Fabian */

* [[About Karina Fabian]]

----

== Universes of Karina Fabian ==

* [[Dragoneye-PI]]
* [[Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator]]
* [[Rescue Sisters]]

Magic, Mensa, and Mayhem

2012-08-13T06:23:32Z

KarinaFabian: /* Publishing Information */

2012-07-29T16:59:30Z

KarinaFabian: adding pages

==Characters==

* [[Vern]]
* [[Sister Grace]]
* [[High Elves]]

== Places ==

* [[Fabian Faerie|Faerie]]
* [[Fabian Gap|Gap]]
* [[Favian Mundane|Mundane]]

This entry is from the works of [[Karina Fabian]]

Karina Fabian

2012-02-22T21:59:56Z

KarinaFabian: Created page with "==ABOUT VERN== I'm your average North African Faerie Wyvern with a not-so average lifestyle. Dragons of the magical dimension of Faerie (as you well know) were created by God a..."

==ABOUT VERN==

I'm your average North African Faerie Wyvern with a not-so average lifestyle.

Dragons of the magical dimension of Faerie (as you well know) were created by God at the beginning of the world. We are immortal and androgynous, soulless yet no more evil than any other natural phenomenon. In fact, we’re rather preferable to many natural phenomena. After all, I never wantonly destroyed anyone’s property or took anyone’s life--unless I was hungry, or had been provoked, or (just on occasion) if it would be funny. Most of the time, as long as the locals treated me with respect, tossed me a cow when I came calling, and left my treasure alone, I was a benevolent neighbor. Can you expect similar treatment from a hurricane?

Of course, some creatures--read “humans”--just don’t learn. I've seen his share of angry mobs, brave knights and the poor saps that get chosen by the local village to “confront the infernal beast.” Even worse were the ages when rescuing a maiden from the dragon was the vogue for courtship. First off, humans,--male or female, virgin or not--are not a dragon’s dinner of choice, but who’s gonna refuse free food? Then, to add insult to injury, some bronze-clad macho-man spouting unusually bad epic poetry charges into my lair, pokes me with something pointy and long and takes off with the girl--after stopping to scoop up a dowry, naturally. So just as naturally, the prospective “knight in shining armor” became “spam in a can.” Particularly if the poetry was really bad. Overall, a bad idea for everyone, until I had the wise idea of cutting a few deals with the couple's parents. Kept me well fed, "Prince Charming" didn't poke me, and the happy couple had thier romantic adventure without the potentially fatal consequences. Good run while it lasted.

Still, you know how humans are: that which is not with us needs to be taken down or subdued. Thus, the Faerie St. George trapped me in a holy spell. (Trust me: if he had not had God on his side, things would have gone differently.) By the time the saintly knight mage was done, I was little larger than an iguana, with no fire, no flight and just enough of my former knowledge to speak Latin and understand most aspects of human life. St. George the told me I could earn back all his former abilities and regain his dragon glory by serving God and Man through the Faerie Catholic Church. St. George then presented him to Pope Boniface II, who gave him the “clever” name of Vern d’Wyvern. (Don’t call me that--Vern will do.)

I started as the Pope’s pet, and when I saved his life, I became his bodyguard, then his adviser, and moved on to other jobs as the God directed. In eight centuries, I've been a scribe, a convent watch-dragon (no problems with keeping the virgins safe there), an Inquisitor (and with evil having the power of magic, the Inquisition had a very different and more dangerous role), and plow "horse" for a monastery farm. When the Gap opened between Mundane and Faerie, I felt a calling to come to our dimension. Don't ask why; or at least, don't ask me.

Maybe it's an exercise in humiliation--sorry, humility. Whether because they were afraid I’d eat the children or poop on the sidewalk, people treated me with suspicion. The US Department of Immigration, while willing to consider citizenship for elves, dwarves, or any other bipedal Faerie life form, refuses to grant me the personhood status. Thus, I couldn't get a green card or regular employment. Still, a lot of Mundanes, once they got to know me, were genuinely kind and accepting. (Some of them say, “God bless St. George. Your curse is our blessing.” I like that.) I've also learned that by helping humans on this side of the Gap, I can earn back his abilities just as easily as in Faerie. The advantage is, that with the opening between the two worlds, there are a lot more opportunities for me to help out both worlds.

So now I live in an old warehouse on the seedy side of Los Logos which also holds to office of Dragon Eye, PI. I'm a professional problem-solver, no job too big or too little, wisdom of eternity, knowledge of the ages, virginity verified…you know the drill. Flights extra. Saving the multiverse, lots extra.

==ABOUT SISTER GRACE==

Sister Grace is a High Church Mage with Faerie Our Lady of the Miracles (FOLM). She stands not much higher than five feet, has eyes the metallic blue of the calm Mediterranean and hair of a silvery red color that few have ever seen and (since she keeps it tucked under her wimple) few ever will. They say it’s the color of magic, but she says that sounds like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel, and Faerie is no Discworld.

Faerie, is however, a world of magic--holy, benign and evil--and Sr. Grace has dedicated her life to fighting the powers of Hell and those who exercise those powers.

She's a high-powered mage thanks to her unusual heritage. She entered the FOLM as a child, both because of her sincere desire to follow the Lord and because of her unusually strong natural magical talent. Her first years at the convent were spent in seclusion and strict training until her abilities were well harnessed to God's will. She was just entering her teens when she took the habit of a novice and was again able to mix with people outside the convent.

Sister Grace spent many more years in study and apprenticeship before taking her final vows and being granted master status. Since then, she has taught others and served in several magical capacities, including proelium ecclesiae, or "Defender of the Church." This is an assignment she does not talk much about, but it was after this last duty that she took a sabbatical to move across the Gap and study Mundane religious music. She attends Little Flower Catholic Church, and Father Rich coaxed her into serving as cantor. There's something truly amazing about her voice; everyone feels it, and she's even had a couple of talent agents approach her. She says, however, that her singing is much like her magic--a gift of God that has must be controlled and applied only to specific purposes.

She and I had a rocky start. She hired me to stop a band she was sure was singing some kind of spell. Sounded like mishmash to everyone, including Yours Truly. I almost didn't believe her until it was too late, and in fact, she ended up saving my bacon when the song summoned up a demon from the early Sumatran era. We made such a great team, that Grace decided to stick around. After receiving permission from her mother house, she became a partner in Dragon Eye Private Detective Agency. She lives in the warehouse with me, where she has her own "workshop" and has gotten her private investigators' license. (That's made both our lives a lot easier, believe me!) Together, they've saved our world and Faerie several times.

==ABOUT THE FAERIE AND MUNDANE WORLDS (AS TOLD BY VERN)==

OK, I don't know where most of you have been, but apparently, there's some question about what exactly are the Faerie and Mundane universes, and what the Gap is, so I hope this will help.

Faerie is pretty much the stuff your legends are made of. There are elves and dwarves, fairies and even unicorns. Yeah, some of them are virgin-lovers but most are smart enough not to approach a strange maiden tied to a tree. There’s magic, too. It’s a natural force, like electricity, but you can’t control it with the flip of a switch or the flick of a wand. You need Talent, and lots of study, and even then, it isn’t easy to work with. I know some of you Mundanes think there might be a way around that; some are stupid enough to think Dark Magic is easier. Forget it. It’s like harnessing lightning with your teeth to light the light bulb in your hand. Even with training and Holy Magic, it feels like that sometimes. Ask my partner, Sister Grace, about that.

There are some objects that are intrinsically magic or can be magicked to a specific purpose, but the average Mundane can’t handle them safely. My first case involved a low-level love charm and a stolen magical fruit that should have made crops grow. Bad news--like Attack of the Killer Chiles news. That’s another story. Let’s just say the governments have been pretty smart about limiting the amount of technical/magical interchange across the Gap. Magic, however benign when correctly used, is deadly when misunderstood.

The Gap? Not much to say--unless you want a doctoral thesis in magic and sub-quantum physics. A combination magical mishap and nuclear accident caused a portal to open permanently between our worlds. Yeah, I know. How cliché. Think the advertising guys for that clothing store were crying with joy when some scientist named the thing? I do know it’s been good for Los Lagos. I was here just a couple of months after the Gap opened. Lot of poverty, though compared to the average serf, you people are spoiled merchant class. But that’s relative, I suppose, and I still can’t get over people not having enough to eat, yet somehow managing to own a TV. Not that I’m hocking mine when times are rough. I can always eat the local vermin to keep my belly full. Hey, I’m a dragon.

I don’t think I need to tell you about your Mundane world. Yeah, I know. I didn’t come up with that term, but if you think it’s insulting, just try calling a barbarian swordsman from my world Faerie. I will say that it’s been very interesting living here. You Mundanes have incredible imaginations. You dream up more fantasitc beings and events for television than I’ve seen in my entire life, and since I was created by God at the dawn of the Earth, that’s saying a lot. No, I don’t remember everything that’s happened in my life, thanks to my diminished state… But my point was that despite your capacity to imagine the fantastic, you can have such a difficult time accepting it in reality. On the one hand, I’ve made a lot of terrific friends here; on the other, I still get people who have the nerve to wonder why I’m not leashed and who ask if I’m housebroken. And of course, your government, while very accepting of Elves and Dwarves, refuses to grant me any status because they can’t agree on whether I am a "person." I talking, I eat your food, I go to Mass,--for pity's sake, I blog--and they still think I’m an animal! Sorry, sore subject. Anyway, that’s why I became a professional problem solver. Dragon Eye, PI. That’s me.